Stories of older persons being taken advantage of by scam artists are in the news with alarming frequency. While con artists and strangers do prey on the elderly, 90% of reported elder abuse involves family members and takes places at home.  Family relationships can be complex and not all carers want to be in the position they find themselves in. Feeling trapped is a recipe for an abusive situation.

Advocacy organizations estimate that between 8-15% of people over age 60 will experience at least one incidence of abuse in their lifetime. This figure rises to nearer 50% for people with dementia. Furthermore, older persons who have experienced even mild abuse are twice as likely to die prematurely.

What is Elder Abuse?

There is no one single definition of elder abuse. Most organizations consider withholding essential care, taking advantage of a trust relationship or causing harm to be abusive. Incidents can range from an one-off event in a moment of frustration to repeated behavior over many years.

Emotional or psychological abuse

Emotional or psychological abuse is the most common type of reported abuse. It can be intentional or unintentional. Examples includes yelling, threatening, manipulating, belittling, intimidating or repeatedly ignoring an older person. So is keeping an older person from seeing people they know or participating in hobbies. If the relationship between carer and older person has been tense for many years, the carer may use their power to settle the score.

Neglect

Failing to care properly for a family member is abusive. Neglect is a gradual process. It can result in infections, bed sores, dehydration, depression or problems with medication. The most common scenario is carer giving up because they feel overwhelmed. Often the family member providing care also has work or child care obligations, and therefore, don’t have the time or energy to provide care.

Physical and sexual abuse

Causing bodily harm to an older person by pinching, hitting, pushing, or slapping is physically abusive. So is withholding needed medication or altering the dosage. This is most common with psychotropic drugs for older person with dementia. Physical restraints for outbursts or violence tendency is controversial and often considered abusive. Forcing an older person to watch or participate in sexual acts without their consent is also abusive.

Financial abuse

Unless the older person becomes suddenly short on funds, financial abuse is often detected only after the fact. Illegal use of an older person’s money or property is financial abuse. So is pressuring older person into making financial decisions. Even older persons who are very good money managers become more susceptible to making poor financial decisions as they age.

Some examples of financial abuse are:

  • forging checks
  • taking over an older person’s pension
  • using their credit cards
  • changing the names on a will, life insurance policy or house title
  • persuading an older person to give gifts to charity, church or family members

Why does elder abuse happen?

Caring for older family members at home can be stressful, emotionally draining and time consuming. Furthermore, most carers are not getting any relief because they don’t have access to respite care or extra money for in home help. Even in cultures where the norm is to have several generations living together, the needs of the older person are not always at the top of the priority list.

Also when there is a problem, older persons may not feel like they can complain, or even know who to complain to.  Not wanting to be a burden is common, and for this reason, the older person often feels their only choice is to accept the care conditions, no matter how bad. In addition, they may be afraid of retaliation or getting their family member in trouble.

How can I tell if an older person is being abused?

It can be difficult to determine if an older person is being abused. They may be afraid or not able to verbalize what is happening. Even if they were ready to make a complaint, effective complaint channels may not be available. Doctors, social workers and police officers often don’t see it right away because many of the signs of abuse are also symptoms of depression and other health problems common to aging.

It may be worth taking the time to investigate further if an older person you know is:

  • more depressed or confused than usual
  • losing weight quickly for no reason
  • agitated or withdrawn
  • not taking part in activities they once enjoyed
  • suddenly unable to meet their financial obligations
  • is bruised, scarred or has burnt marks
  • unwashed or has bed sores

What do I do if I think an older person is being abused?

The first thing to do is to talk to them. Ask them in a neutral way about their day to day life, ask them about their carer and, if you’re able, take a look at their room.  If the carer is feeling overwhelmed, resentful or angry, help arrange respite or connect them with community or government support resources. Having time to recharge and access to caregiver support are vital for carers. If the problem is serious enough to require outside intervention, report the abuse with as much detail as possible to your local authority, such as these agencies (Canada).  For urgent intervention, contact the police.

What can we do to reduce elder abuse in our communities?

Older persons can reduce the risk by:

  • making sure their financial affairs are in order before they need care;
  • taking full advantage of community and government support services; and
  • remaining as connected as possible to the outside world.

Carers can reduce the risk by:

  • taking advantage of community and government services before there is a crisis; and
  • maintaining a good support network of friends, family and others who are in the same position.

It takes the whole community to keep our most vulnerable members safe. If you see an older person regularly, at the corner store, at the library or walking in the park, talk to them. If you notice that they stop coming around, inquire after them. It’s easy to assume that someone else will do it, but when everybody thinks that way, people fall through the cracks. Isolation is an abuser’s best friend.